Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
5 things you should never say to a woman
Interested in a life of constant arguing, withering stares and no sex? Just keep using these phrases then
By Sarah Miller
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Sunday, January 13, 2008
I found this on Stumble. I thought I'd share....
Dear Red States:
We're ticked off at the way you've treated California, and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the entire Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue; you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals than we lefties.
By the way, we have all the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
— Anonymous in California
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
If you are someone who is considering a home in these states, please contact me. I can provide you with a competive rate for your home loan and provide you with the best offer for your needs. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Contact me today at firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
When: Friday, January 11, 2008 – 4 to 10 p.m.
Saturday, January 12, 2008 – 11 am. to 9 p.m.
Sunday, January 13, 2008 – 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Where: Oregon State Fairgrounds
Jackman Long Building
2330 17th St. NE
Salem, OR 97303
How much: Pre-sale general $8 / $10 at the door / seniors $8
Exhibitor categories include:
· NW Wineries
· Fine art, craft & sculptures
· Premier food & cuisine
· Live entertainment
· Salem Monthly
· Merrill Lynch
· Elsinore Framing & Fine Art Gallery
· A-Z Party Rental
· KINK FM
Special offer: First 200 people receive free admission on Friday and Sunday only. Attendance on Saturday is not included in this incentive offer.
To schedule an interview or for press information, call 541.786.1613
To order pre-sale tickets, call 503.390.7324
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Posted by Christy Marsing-Barber at 1:48 PM